4. Adding 5 Minutes at a Time
Dear Timothy,
You mentioned that in the past when you tried to pray for a longer period of time, you found yourself growing bored or distracted long before you reached your goal. Many people experience this when they try to increase the amount of time they spend in prayer by their own strength rather than by asking God for the grace to do so. My guess is that at the time, you were either not called to an extensive prayer time, or else you were trying to pray for a longer period of time by your own strength. Either way, I am glad to hear that you now have the sense that God is calling you to pray for 30 minutes each day. You’ve answered the first important question, about calling and invitation. The next question is whether you have the grace to pray for that amount of time.
I cannot provide a metric to measure whether you have the grace to pray for thirty minutes.. Grace is an internal experience given to us by God. Personally, I have found it to be useful to examine when my experience of prayer begins to feel forced and not life-giving on a regular basis. This is an indicator that I am trying to pray for longer than the grace allotted to me. I emphasize "on a regular basis" because we all might feel a day or two of dryness now and then. In those instances, it's important not to let the dryness derail us, but to persevere through it. However, if a practice goes on for a couple of weeks feeling dry, it is worth asking whether or not we have the grace or the invitation for it.
Given that you have had trouble with 15 minutes for a few weeks now, I would suggest asking God for the grace to pray for the 30 minutes he is calling you to. As you ask God for the grace, begin adding small increments of 5 minutes each week, until you reach your goal of 30 minutes. If going from 15 minutes to 20 minutes each day next week feels too daunting, then try just adding an extra minute or two--use whatever increment you feel comfortable with. As you press into this with God, grace will come, and your desire will increase. You will experience the time going faster than you expect, leaving you wanting even more.
The other difficulty you raised was about praying on weekends, where it seems all your best laid plans go out the window with all sorts of errands and distractions. This is completely normal! Try asking God if he desires something different for you on the weekend. Some people enjoy a more leisurely time of prayer, of a different format than they experience during the week. You mentioned that you are struggling to find time in the midst of raising small children. God may just want you to take advantage of the special time you have with your kids during the weekend. It is worth asking him what he thinks is best.
QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION:
Have you noticed a difference of praying in the grace that God gives you compared to praying in your own strength? How does it feel different? How much grace to do you feel you have now for prayer? Ask God to give you grace for 5 minutes more and try to extend your prayer time for that long. Keep praying and adding 5 minutes until you reach the time that you feel God wants for you in this season.
