7. Feelings Do Matter
Dear Jim,
I understand your reluctance to pay attention to your feelings in prayer. To prevent people from growing discouraged if they do not “sense” God in prayer, it’s often taught that feelings and emotions have nothing to do with spirituality. While it is true that we should often persevere through feelings of God’s absence in prayer, it’s not true that the best thing to do is suffer his absence indefinitely.
If a husband finds that his feelings for his wife fluctuate from more intense to less within a given day or week, there is no cause for alarm. A couple of days of lessened affection is not indicative of a more serious issue, it’s probably just part of the relationship’s natural rhythms. A healthy couple persists in the ups and downs, choosing to honor their commitment to act lovingly even when it doesn’t come naturally to them. However, if a couple starts to find that their negative feelings persist for months or years at a time, it is not wise for them to continue doing everything as they have been and hope that their negative feelings go away. Something is wrong in their relationship, and they need to address it.
The same principle applies to prayer. If it feels dry for a day or two, it is worth persevering. However, if the dryness stretches to weeks, then it is something that needs to be addressed. We can address these feelings by asking God to help us to try something new in prayer, or by talking to someone more experienced than ourselves. Paying attention to your feelings is worth doing if you feel persistently lifeless in prayer. Too many people go on for months and years trying to hold on to old ways of prayer that are no longer life-giving because they’ve either outgrown them or because God is calling them to something new. Usually both are true, and they need some mentoring support in navigating the new ways God is inviting them to pray. God’s plan all along has been for us to learn about him from each other, not just from scripture and personal experience.
QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION:
Who has been your greatest teacher about prayer? Who is in your life today that you can learn more from? What are your feelings towards God, especially in prayer? Are there long term issues that are underneath some of these feelings? How would it be to talk to God about those?
